Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune's Gay Talk Show.
by The New Ultra Mike
Summary: The Lesbians have a talk show with Special Guests.
1. People We've Killed or Tried To

Note: Sailor Moon does not belong to me. It belongs to whoever the hell does. Remenber to read and review, but not to flame.  
  
Sailor Uranus and Neptune's Gay Talk Show  
  
(Scene: Talk Show set that looks just like Jerry Springer).  
  
Announcer: Werlcome to-  
  
Audiance: (Screaming) Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune's Gay Talk Show!  
  
Announcer: And here are the stars, Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune. (Walk on set. Crowd starts wildly cheering)  
  
Sailor Neptune: Greetings, wlcome to our show. I'm Sailor Neptune-  
  
Sailor Uranus: And I'm her bisexual patrner, Sailor Uranus.  
  
Sailor Neptune: (hits her on the arm) You dumbass, people aren't supposed to know were lesbos.  
  
Sailor Uranus: Yeah they are, didn't you read the name of our show?  
  
Sailor Neptune: Oh.  
  
Sailor Uranus: (Holds up card) Well today are guest are (pitchres of guest fly up on screen) the ghost of Silor Pluto, Sailor Saturn, Scout of Destruction and our parnets?  
  
Sailor Neptune: Who the hell invited our parents?  
  
Sailor Uranus: It says here they're all under the subject "People we killed or tried to kill in the past" (Subject appears on front of screen then resests on side of screen).  
  
Sailor Neptune: This is not going to be a good show.  
  
Sailor Uranus: (Starts hugging Sailor Neptune) Don't worry my love, I know we can get through this like all our other escapdes.  
  
Salior Neptune: You mean have wild sex after it?  
  
Sailor Uranus: How about right now? (Scouts start taking off uniforms but then screen changes to emergency signal).  
  
Annoucer: This show is having Lesbian difficulties. Will be back in a few minutes but first enjoy these gay and- I mean wonderful products from our stupi- I mean very intellegent sponsors. (Starts showing commericals. Sceen then changes to scouts watching T.V on a couch).  
  
Sailor Moon: Remind me again why we are watching this gay show?  
  
Sailor Mars: Weren't you the one who said (Starts imitating Sailor Moon stuipdley) "Ur don't worry guys, we'll watch your"?  
  
Sailor Moon: You just pushed the line! (Sticks here heart wand through Sailor Mars's Stomach and does the attack. Hundreads of pieces of Sailor Mars go throughout the house).  
  
Sailor Venus: Now why did you do that?  
  
Sailor Moon: You want some?!  
  
Sailor Venus: Bring it freak! (Uses love chain to tie Sailor Moon up. Sailor Moon uses an energy Force Field to get out of it and turns Super. Hits her with wand, which makes her go 5 miles in the air. Then Sailor Moon finishes the job by taking a chain saw out, cutting her head open and eating the brain).  
  
Sailor Moon: (Still pigging out on brain) Anyone else want some? (Suddenly whacked on face by Sailor Jupiter).  
  
Sailor Jupiter: Shhhhh, the show's back on (T.V is now back on Sailor Uranus and Neptune with their clothes not off, on the set.  
  
Sailor Neptune: That makes me feel better,ur I mean welcome back to our show! Please welcome our first guest, The ghost of Sailor Pluto! (Sailor Pluto's ghost (Who will now be called SPG since I am now Shortening the nanes).  
  
SU: So SPG, what's up?  
  
SPG: What's up you fuckin gay mother fuckin losers fuckin got me fuckin killed because you fuckin could'nt fuckin drive a fuckin helicopter and fuckin made me have to fuckin use my fuckin time stopping abilites thus fucking me for life which fuckin lasted a fuckin five fuckin seconds and then fucked off on your fuckin way. Then I fuckin saved your fucking lifes again for fucking what, no fucking apology even and now you fuckers want to know the how the fuck I fuckin feel? WELL I'M FUCKIN PISSED!!!  
  
A: SU, SN, SU, SN, SU, SN!  
  
SPG: SHUT UP: (Uses a death scream and completley evaporates audiance).  
  
SU: Woah, what the hell happened to you? You used to be so nice and friendly and stuff you aren't now?  
  
SPG: Three things; One I died, two I was sent to hell for braking the stop time manuever and third from hanging around this kid in an Orange Jacket.  
  
SN: So what's hell like?  
  
SPG: Wel first, everyone speaks Spanish and... No wait! That's Mexico. Hell is a fiery place with luases and Christmas Specials (Takes out flwer necklace and grass skirt) look I can even hula now (starts to hula but then a bell starts ringing).  
  
SU: What the Hell is that?  
  
SPG: Oh, its a sign that means I have to leave now and that my cookies are done. Ta Ta! (Mystically disapears).  
  
SN: I think hell ade her even weirder then us!  
  
SU: Well \ anyway, our next guest is Sailor Saturn, Scout of Detruction (Hotaru the baby aka Sailor Saturn is rolled on stage by Stage Manager?  
  
SN: How are we supposed to talk to a baby?  
  
SS: (Telepatichally from baby) You fools, do you not realizes my powers?  
  
SU: Ahhhh, freak baby! (Fires world shaking at baby but it easily deflects it).  
  
SN: Now, wait, that's the scout of destruction!  
  
SS: Stop calling me that! I save the entire world and you still think I'm evil? You guys suck?  
  
SU: So what's it like to be a baby?  
  
SS: Stop asking such foolish questions! You were one so shouldn't you know?  
  
SN: Stop taunting the baby! I think she's so cute. (Moves to touch SS).  
  
SS: Oh no, I'm not letting you touch me now that I know you're gay! (Uses energy force field to move SN across the stage). Now If you exuse me it's my nap time (floats it and carrier off of stage).  
  
SU: Not my gay lover (runs across the stage and pick up SN). SN, are you okay?  
  
SN: Nothing like a little sex can't cure.  
  
SU: You just read my mind. (cuts again to vommerical and again scene changes to where the other scouts are).  
  
Salior Mecurey: Now promise you won't try to kill anyone this commerical break.  
  
SM: I promise (minute goes by) ahh to much pressure! Must kill again (Picks up SMe and throws her against wall. Then throws stick of dynamite at her, blowing her to kingdomkom).  
  
Sailor Mini Moon: Well now with only three of us left, you will do no more killing. You would never harm you're daughter,..  
  
SJ: And I would kick your ass if you tried.  
  
SM: Then I must find more people to kill (runs out of house and onto street).  
  
SMM: Shoun't we follow her?  
  
SJ: After the show is over. (Show comes back on).  
  
SU: Well that was fun.  
  
SN: Sure was. And now our last guests, our parents! (Parents appear on stage).  
  
SU: Why are you on here anyway? QWe never tried to kill you?  
  
SU's Dad: Oh yeah, then what about this (Puts video tape on T.V, shows SU's Dad and Mom having sex).  
  
SU's Mom: Whoops, forgot to fast forward. (Fast fowards a bit). Now this is what we mean  
  
Tape SU: Mom and Dad I have something to tell you.. I'm Gay, with Sailor Neptune!  
  
Tape SU's Mom: What! You know we have had a fued with them for 20 years since they stole all our money and we burnt down they're house.  
  
Tape SU: I thought you guys just don't see each other any more.  
  
Tape SU's Dad: The point is... you must promise never to see her again.  
  
Tape SU: NEVER!! WORLD SHAKING!! (Parent's dodge attack but it hits camera, discontinueing the tape).  
  
SN's Mom: And you did the same think too honey!  
  
SN's Dad: But enough of this, let's kill those lesbians (Rocket launchers appear in the parent's hand but suddenly a 40 to weight drops on the parent's head with SM on top of it).  
  
SN: Thank's for saving our asses again SM!  
  
SM: No problem, and I think i cured my killing problem!  
  
SU: This calls for a celebration! (SU and SN start having sex again).  
  
SM: Now where the hell is Darien (runs off to find him).  
  
The End  
  
Anyone want a sequal to this? Say it in the review and you just might get one.   
  



	2. Straight Talk Show

The Straight Talk Show- Originally, it was suppose to be Sailor Moon and Cape Boy (Tuexdo Masks as hosts), but it would have been too much work for them. 


End file.
